“Nowhere” Feels Like Home
It’s blog day!! I’m extra excited to write this week, my subject changed a bit last minute, but I think the change was imperative. I’ll save the original topic for next week. So here we go!
As a young girl I developed most of my identity out in the pastures of a cattle ranch in northern New Mexico, my father helped my grandparents work to maintain and make a living for our family. From age 4 until almost 7, I followed in the shadows and footsteps of these 2 men, watching and learning as they worked tirelessly, day in and day out. When I had time alone, I explored the open landscapes and became very familiar with every acre and the creatures that inhabited the land. Very early on, I fell in love with this feeling- a sense of accountability, immense respect, and the divine connected-ness. Nature had me gripped, nowhere and nothing felt like this. I would be forever left with the impression of the lifestyle; embedded with the chemistry that enables me to feel peace in a crisp fresh breeze, completely absent of the city buzz, and drawn to wade into any water hole I find. I was pretty certain from the jump, that I carried a hippy soul.
With that said, you’ll fully understand the depths of bliss and contentment that will come with the telling of this story.
Last Friday, a couple of our dear friends made a trip to come and visit us. Due to COVID, and a move we made last year, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other. We met up at a remote Air B&B in Taylor TX, a little house lost in a corn field just on the edge of a small town. We only had plans to visit with our friends, enjoy the sunset, and I would anxiously await the sky to blacken to see all the stars my pupils would let in. I couldn’t wait!
We arrived a little bit earlier than our friends, and my wife had a bit of work to finish up before 5, so that left me to do a little exploring. I just wanted to absorb all the outdoor essence and bask in the sounds of the wind. I immediately felt overwhelmed with glee as we drove up the driveway cutout of the corn field and saw this humble little old farm house. I adored the structure instantly, and would be completely stunned once we stepped inside. This beautiful home from the 40’s was totally redone, and hardly matched its exterior. Excitement oozed from me as I passed through each room. I admired all the furniture, wall hangings, and the random collection of dishes. It was rather clear to me that someone had inherited this house from their grandparents, and the evidence was everywhere. Familiar little pieces- like vintage Pyrex bowls, two-toned ceramic crocks , and decorative lace doilies much like I would find in my own grandmother’s home. I felt like Goldilocks, checking the rooms and the beds, and in the very last room, I found my “just right”. The brass bed frame, the style of linens, and the scent was just like being at my great grandmother’s home. I was in literal heaven in this house out in this rural area. All these little things that didn’t even belong to me, or belong to the people I love. Yet, they belonged to my memory, and those memories were bringing me the most comfort I’ve felt since March. Before the night began, I opened the cupboard to choose a drinking glass… and there on the shelf, a small plastic cup that was identical to my grandfather’s favorite juice cup. Decidedly, I drank from this cup all night long <3
After exploring the house, I noticed a hammock swing in the backyard, no convincing was needed here. I climbed in and sat for a smoke, gazing out into the endless corn fields I felt lost in the best way. A casita in front of me, and an old tractor plow to the left of me, and I knew I would be climbing that old rusty machine. Once our friends arrived, we were out back taking creepy photos in the fields and on the tractor. At one point I ended up with scrapes from being up in a tree, black marks from the tires of the tractor, and overall dusty from the outside… I felt amazing! Almost like being that child trailing behind Dad and Grandpo once again… this strange place gave me nostalgia.
Our time with our friends was so well spent, lots of music, crazy deep chats, and some heart to heart moments. Overall, this night was very well needed, for all of us. When the sky went black, we went out front to enjoy the cosmic views. Thankfully they brought a tripod and let me borrow it to take some steady long exposure shots. This was pretty much where I spent the rest of my night, I wound up barefoot and misty eyed with a Cheshire cat smile just mesmerized under the skies. I never get to see the stars like this anymore, except for when I’m out on that special ranch in Northern New Mexico…
This night away, in a farm house, in a mess of corn fields, gave me a sense of balance. My nerves felt at ease, my heart content, and my mind felt clearer than it has in a long while. It was really everything I needed to hit a master reset on my anxiety, I’m so thankful we got to share this time with our friends. COVID has left me feeling pretty lonely and isolated at times, but moments like these mentioned above, genuinely make all the difference.
I hope you all are finding peace and maintaining sanity, a little dose of nature can go a long way *wink* Thank you for taking the time… Until next week, please be well <3
<3 Miki Len
