Just Keep Swimming…

This post is going to be pretty long, and end pretty heavy, but I promise the story is well worth its while…

It was Memorial Day weekend 2014, my wife and I were making a quick trip to the Walgreen’s around the block. It was a stormy morning in Houston and the rain was steady pounding as we got into the car and out of the parking lot. We had just turned off our street when we spotted a tiny dog wandering in the road toward the passing cars. Beth immediately stopped the car and I quickly hopped out of the passenger side to get the little dog. In my pajamas, instantly soaking wet, and a bit miserable from the night before, I jumped without a single thought. She ran straight to me the first time I called, but strangely her head was pointed off to the side as she came to me. Visibility was obscured by the rain and I couldn’t tell a whole lot about her until she finally got to me. I quickly swooped her up and got right back into the car. She was in pretty rough shape and we thought she might even be on the older side. Her fur was white with large brown spots- long, matted, riddled with stickers, and we knew right away she was infested with fleas. Thankfully she seemed to have decent weight on her and didn’t seem to be injured or in any pain, so we continued on to Walgreen’s as planned. I stayed in the car with the shivering lil pup while my wife picked up the original essentials, and a whole new list of things to clean up and feed this little doggy. 

Arriving home we went straight to the bathtub! 6.5 hours we spent in the bathroom- she was washed, flea treated, stickers each clipped out, and all her matted fur was cut away, and not once did she fuss or fight. She took it all in stride and remained the sweetest little thing imaginable. Eventually underneath all the mattes we found an adorable little Shih Tzu that was much younger than we’d assumed. Judging by the condition we found her in and her walking toward us with her head turned another way, we thought she might be old and likely blind. Much to our surprise her eyes had only been sealed by dried up gunk and once she was bathed her eyes were opened and she could see just fine. She ate and drank without hesitation (although the red bits in the Beneful were undoubtedly her favorite) and eventually settled into her new bed. At last she was relaxed and at peace.

Operation Re-home was the first plan- but only after we were able to rid her of the fleas, some worms we discovered in her stool, and got her all up to date on her shots and preventatives. In the beginning we really hadn’t considered keeping her, we hadn’t been preparing ourselves or our home for a dog, PLUS the cat was NOT a fan of our new guest, haha. Our commitment to her at this point was to make sure that we found the absolute best home we could, no matter what. From the very first moment, this little dog displayed such strength and held a gentle, sweet demeanor. We had no plans of letting just anyone take her… not a chance. In the meantime our little friend needed a name, and not just any name. A name that suited this little personality. I wish the memory was clearer of the exact moment that we chose our sweet girl’s name. I know it had been days that we had gone back and forth trying to match a name to her character. After a bit of time and few chats between my wife and I, we chose the name Dory. We liked this name a lot because even though she was quite the mess when we found her, she made a grueling clean up so easy, she warmed up to us instantly, and only kept a silly and jovial approach to life. So PERFECT <3 Little Dory.

About a month in, we had been to the vet and had a fairly decent bill of health, some skin and ear issues but nothing too concerning. They assumed she was likely 1.5 -2 years old, she was well nourished, and declared worm free! She’d been started on her preventatives and was finally up to date on her vaccinations, which meant she was in good shape to begin the re-homing process.

If I’m being completely honest here, the conversation was over before it really even begun, there was no way either of us could see ourselves parting with this precious little dog! We were completely and absolutely smitten <3 She was obviously ridiculously cute and sweet, but even better she was extremely well mannered. We never had to worry about her destroying things, terrorizing the cat, or using the restroom in the condo. She fit right into our lives and we had already reached stage 5 on the clinger scale. Dory had become our sweet baby and we knew we wanted to be the ones who got to love and care for her, and we could already feel the love she filled our world with. 

Her arrival couldn’t have been any more perfect, I didn’t know it at the time, but I really needed her. To make a long story short, I was only about a year into living with my wife (who was newly my fiance at that time), new to a very large city, and so far from basically everyone else I knew in my life. I was struggling to continue working as an artist from home as I had done in New Mexico, business just wasn’t going as well as it had been. I had never moved so far from friends and family, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to get used to. I’ve never been a stranger to depression, and we were being reacquainted. I had recently lost both of my grandparents, had no inspiration to create, and the loneliness while my wife was away only seemed to amplify. I was sinking into a hole, and quick. Just before I felt like this pit would swallow me up, we found Dory and quite literally my whole world changed.

She was a wonderful companion, truly the best. It was my duty to care for and maintain her health, her eyes, ears, skin, and I even took on learning how to groom her. We did just about everything together… Well… I did what I usually do and somewhere nearby she slept sweetly. She had a bed in almost every room, and boy did she LOVE to sleep. 

We always wanted the absolute best for our Dory, and in the years we had her we struggled through some health issues. She had chronic ear problems that triggered her skin issues and often her eyes drained quite a bit. With help from our amazing vet in Houston, we tried all we could to narrow down the catalyst of her annual flare ups. We went through dietary adjustments, no grain, no by products, higher nutrients, all natural, and more expensive. We even spent a long period of time cooking and pureeing her food for her (my brother swore what we were feeding her looked like guacamole hahaha). After some time it was determined that she suffered from allergies to the local pollen in Htown, and essentially we could only manage these allergies and start her on a puppy allergy pill. Roughly a year after we found her without any warning she lost her eyesight. We worked with an ophthalmologist who examined her eyes and ran tests that eventually provided no answers… but they did offer to remove her eyes and sew them shut, or to install a set of prosthetics for lots of money and a more “natural” look- we did neither. Her eyes didn’t bother her much when given extra care and they usually needed to be flushed and cleaned. So we kept her eyes and helped her to adjust to her blindness, and still, in her nature, through meds, baths, lotions, eye drops, hair cuts, etc etc etc… this little pup endured it all with minimal fight and never a single fuss. For as high maintenance as her little problems were, she was a tiny little stuffed animal otherwise. Chill, cuddly, and lazy <3

Each day since that Memorial Day has been filled with the love only a dog could give, and if you met Dory, you knew her love was extra special <3

The story gets tougher to write from here… but I need something to help me work through the memories, the healing, and all these emotions so, here I go. 

It’s all a nightmare still, and very much a blur. Dory slept in that day, and had a late breaky which wasn’t abnormal for us. After we ate we kicked it in the art studio for a few hours while I got some things done. We were a day late on a bath so I gathered her up and took her to bathe. While blow drying her I couldn’t help but notice that her breathing didn’t look normal to me, and I started to panic. I picked her up and tried to soothe her while I googled, and after a while with no luck I contacted my wife so we could take her to an E.R. Due to COVID we were met in the parking lot to let them take Dory, while we sat and waited for news. 

From here I’ll do my best to spare the details as much as I can. Shortly after arrival the Dr. called to say her breathing had returned to normal and we all agreed to an X-ray to find out the cause of her episode. Her lungs were inflamed and the onset of Bronchopneumonia was appearing in the bottom of one of her lungs, she was kept that night for observation and a round of antibiotics. The following day we had 2 updates, and at one point received word on her improvement! We were advised another night on the stronger antibiotics would do her good and if she kept improving, we could bring her home the next day! … Then came Thursday morning. Our first call was very concerning, but our Dr. said giving Dory another day to fight it out would be fair, but by 4pm another call came in and we had nothing hopeful left to hang onto… We had to make a decision for our baby…

They gave us our time with her to say our goodbyes, and we held her in our arms as she drifted away…. I honestly still can’t quite believe it. Everything just happened so fast, in a short 48 hours we found ourselves in a cold empty room with the center of our universe slipping away. We always knew we were fortunate to have her, and we also knew our days with her would come to an end at some point… This just wasn’t what we pictured, but we understood what had to be done. Things haven’t been right since Tuesday… our hearts feel like they’ve split wide open and the tears don’t seem to ease up for very long. This apartment feels so empty, and so many of her things were scattered all about… every inch of this place harbors sweet memories that further brand the reality deeper in. Relief is hard to find, and sadness seems ready to attack at any moment, any reminders of our Dory feel too overwhelming to even deal with… I completely underestimated how this would feel, and how hard it would be. By the time the blog posts, it’ll be 7 days since she’s been gone, and right now each day feels like an eternity. 

I’m hoping that getting this out and writing about our Dory will ease my spirit some, and lay out directly in front of me the reasons I have to be thankful for the life we had with our little Derp. She found us, loved us, and filled up our lives with the purest love, silliness, and comfort. Everything we did revolved around her in one way or another. No move was made without considering how Dory would be included or cared for while we were away, but without a doubt our most treasured memories always included her. Little Dory was a perfect travel buddy, we take trips often to visit my family up north about 12 hours, and my in-laws close to the East coast give or take 16 hours, and she never had an issue with just chilling in the backseat in or next to her giant bed (she also enjoyed sitting with us up front, but typically was a distraction to her mommy, the driver hehe). She had taken her first flight not too long ago, which she did not care much for at all, but she handled the delayed return flight like a champ. Since she was so chill, quiet, and so well mannered, we often would sneak her into places that were pet friendly, but wanted insane non refundable deposits hahaha. We were always confident she would make no mess or cause anyone stress, and she never did. For Thanksgiving this year she got to go out and about with us in St. Augustine, FL. Went to her first restaurant [Mexican] and sat in the screened in patio, toured Ripley’s and went walking around all the shops the rest of the day. We’ve had so many sleepovers with friends and she had special buddies she got excited to hear and smell- her Auntie Liz, girlfriend Chyla, and her fur buddies Rye, Dexter, and Willie, plus many others. She especially loved her mommy Beth <3 One couldn’t help but love Dory, and everyone who met her very much did. Every part of our lives had a little bit of Dory- countless adventures, holidays, average days, and milestones, like the day we got married and she was our darling flower girl <3

From where I stand, it seems like moving on without our girl is completely unimaginable, but everyday I remind myself through the emotions, that the sweetest lesson I learned was from a precious little white dog. From day one, our strong willed, stubborn cute little one showed us that through everything, we always had to “Just Keep Swimming”, it’s why she was our Dory. Her story was full of setbacks and annoyances, but her attitude remained loving, light-hearted, and pure. It’s just who she was, and why we adored her so. It was that happy, stinky, sweet, little precious blind dog that gave our lives so much joy, and filled any place we lived with all encompassing comfort and made it a home. Even with as hard as losing her is, It’s worth remembering what a wonderful gift her presence was in our world… and there’s nothing I would ever trade that for, even through these solemn days. Missing her is hard, but missing her means she existed… and to me that’s what mattered above all. 

If you made it this far, I apologize for the weight of this entry, and I appreciate you taking this journey through this story with me. I hope you had the chance to meet our sweet girl <3 and if not I hope this passage told you a lot about our wonderful little fuzz butt, and what she meant to us. Thank you for your time. 

I love you lil Stink Butt<3

<3 Miki Len

My wife took most of these photos, and I’m so thankful we have such beautiful memories to look back on <3