Seeker of the Silver Lining

Hi folks, and happy blog day! I hope thus far it has been a good one, either way thank you for returning. I know my last few posts have had a kinda grim undertone, and have been riddled with some rather heavy emotion as well. BUT I promised this week I would lighten the mood up just a bit- Well, as much as I can at least. 

2020 has been a very trying year for a majority of the people that I know and talk to, and it’s been no secret. Everyday holds some new massive uncertainty and we’re left doing our best to accept the news and move forward with our lives as per usual. Unfortunately reality has been much much harder on some than others, and truly my heart goes out to anyone struggling with the current state of things, and I just wanna say- I love you, you can make it through this, please don’t give up <3

Entering the pandemic I was struggling mentally and emotionally to cope with the many things that seemed to continuously loop on news stations and videos. It was only a few months ago that I hit a point that I couldn’t allow this self destruction to be the defense mechanism to the whole world flippin out. I had to put my focus somewhere constructive and utilize it as fuel to continue to propel forward. I decided I would burrow into my own little world and I begin to actively identify and work on the many habits I wanted to drop and the ones I wanted to improve on. I decided ultimately this would be the final attempt at making my dreams of being a successful artist come true. It’s do or die, no more try hahaha It was high time to be about the change, and I felt ready. 

The realization alone was everything. Putting thought and focus behind my goals, and giving my best effort daily to get through my list of priorities was the key to reaching my dream. Everyday I felt more accomplished, educated, and worthy of the dopamine I was producing. Accomplishing the smallest things gave me validity and pushed me to knock out more mini goals. My time management improved, I was creating and selling new products, and I had built an entire website (3x over at this point) to operate the ArtShop I was putting together. I felt the strides begin to multiply and the momentum started to take control, and as it tends to happen, life just tosses a stick or two into your spokes…. In this case I felt like I had slammed into a whole frickin tree. I was experiencing some issues on the back-end of my site, some personal/deep loss was taking place, and nothing like some good ol family drama to seal in that sweet marinade of despair. I couldn’t manage to see through these layers, life was hazy, and for over a week, I couldn’t get my emotions under control. Being thrown from my “bike”, having these obstacles halt my progress so abruptly threw me out  beyond my element, and left me feeling pretty beaten and bruised. I didn’t exactly feel much like getting up. I wish I could tell you that I’m a stranger to this feeling, but I’m far more familiar with it than I’d like. 

One thing 2020 for sure has given me that I can wholeheartedly appreciate, is perspective. I’ve gone through a lot of concerns, and the list has been growing and shrinking ever since February, and that seems to still be the case. It was hard helping the initial emotions and worries that I was having, thanks to the constant rush of news and the frequent back and forth of what is and isn’t factual. Thankfully I’ve had the chance to adjust to a new opportunity to embrace and accept that, what will be- will be, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. I can choose my reaction and strategies moving forward, and I decided to override my typical means of processing and coping.

Hardship will always show you what really counts, and I’ve always been thankful for the moments that strip away all the excess and leave you with the source of what makes living life so wonderfully unique. I do my best to remind myself of the importance of physical, mental, and emotional health, and if it’s slipping in anyway I move to work out the stresses in the system. When faced with the truth of our mortality, we tend to reflect on the lessons and the encounters that actually feel like a blessing. I’m not really the type to place such emphasis on ONLY the positive things, but I fully buy into the idea that giving the negative a good look could be a great incentive to flip the coin all for the sake of seeing the other side. I highly value the yin and yang that can be found in most aspects of life, the ebb and flow, the light and the dark- the overall dance of balancing the polarities. I wish I could say that it’s become second nature to see life this way, but it’s something I’m frequently reminding myself to redirect my sight in order to view the full picture. 

Most of my experience of life has been in the shadows, and in those shadows I became rather acquainted with many lessons of existence, almost too acquainted. My upbringing was very modest, and most of what I was pushed to embrace was always of deeper meaning or significance, thus always giving life it’s true purpose. With life in constant turmoil recently, it feels almost like a blast to the past in a sense- straight back to default- Survival Mode. I find myself pushing the same mentality to override the flurrying thoughts about anything and everything, and using what focus I can to weather the storm. Each day I remind myself of how fortunate I have been with life’s experiences and memories. There’s something special about each soul I have had the honor of encountering, and the new vision they brought to my ideas and the influence they would have on the person I am today. Each day can offer something of substance, and add benefit to the life I intend to live. I need to be someone, I need it for me, and I need to feel like I’ve moved to fulfill my destiny. And I’ll go ahead and assume this is something you may feel as well.

With the variables life will bring, I choose to see the great things that have been placed into my universe as a means to help me grow and develop as a person. Even though I’m mostly an introvert, I highly value folks (Friends or strangers) who are open minded, intelligent, and respectable to converse with. In my opinion you’re only as good as the people you choose to surround yourself with, and lately I’ve been reminded of who I value and why. We’re influenced and impacted by the actions of those close, and the boundaries we fail to put up can ultimately take effect on our lives. My world is made better by simply knowing that I have access to such beauty through others, and that our sense of friendship and oftentimes  our sense of family, is where the magic of existing truly lies. In my opinion the existence and experience of other souls gives us great insight into who we are and who we aspire to be. 

The way I see it, this entire world as we know it could collapse, as far as I can see a lot of society seems to be built on sand… but morals and a sense of community and compassion for others is what holds humanity together in times of crisis. That seems to be the antidote we need at this point, I just hope we don’t need anything crazier to happen to thrust us into unity in order to save ourselves. Either way, I’m looking at this storm of 2020 as a wake up call, a chance to wash away the debris of the unnecessary, and a reason to keep moving forward with clarity and purpose. I hope this is a chance for humanity to keep building and evolving through this historic time, a chance for us to truly be better. 

We give power to what we pay with our attention… it’s time we delegate our energy to move humanity along with love, as a whole. <3 

May your silver lining be just behind that cloud, or only barely out of your reach. Take care of your people, your family, your friends, and your community. Together we can make the ripples that create the waves, that bring us the currents of change.

Until Next Week

<3 Miki Len