Returning to the Kitchen

Hello loves! Thank you for returning! Hoping all is well out there! <3

So I ended up taking a week off, totally by accident, but sometimes you just end up getting exactly what you need. And I think I needed that time to put my focus into other things, but here we are, and here you are! For that I’m always so incredibly thankful.

So this entry is all about a love I never realized I had within, a hobby and “career” of sorts that I discovered is much deeper embedded in me than I had ever realized before. This is all about my love for kitchen work, and how the return to that work has brought me back to myself.

Upon my return home last year, I would start working again after being a housewife for the better part of 9 years. I felt nervous to return to the workforce after not working for so long, but after much time away and the extreme changes in my life, I really needed the stability and financial flow a job would bring. For the years I spent without work, it was difficult to feel much worth, even as a housewife I felt like my efforts had minimal impact and being home all the time wore on me in many ways. Luckily for me, shortly after arriving back home in NM, a local restaurant had an opening in their kitchen and I knew the manager who would help me get my foot in the door. I had a fair amount of experience from the multiple kitchens I had worked in previously, but it had been well over 10 years and that gave me a strange combination of confidence with a nice dose of anxiety. Either way I was ready for it, and I couldn’t have been more thankful that my first job in almost a decade would be in a kitchen. 

Let’s take a little journey back to the roots of this love. Growing up we were starting our training in the kitchen before we were even potty trained! It all started with the basics, washing dishes, sweeping, and mopping. Then moving on to things like mixing cookie dough and making tortillas, little by little we picked up on what our mother, grandmothers, and aunties had passed along. Most of my learning was done alongside my maternal grandmother. Being in her kitchen was always such a memorable experience, easily among the memories I have to hang onto. Grandma and Grandpa had a very large family, so it was quite usual for there to be a steady flow of company on the daily for years up until grandpa and grandma were gone. No one ever came into her house without being offered a meal, and no one dare leave with an empty belly, ever. A majority of the time she was at the stove making something fresh, but if not, there was always something in the fridge ready to feed whoever was sitting at her family sized table. Usually it was something like- enchiladas, beans, rice, red chile, and a salad… and truly, you weren’t ever really allowed to turn down a meal. Because in her sweetest of ways she always insisted on feeding you, and “no” was never an acceptable answer, not that anyone could bear to tell that woman “no”. She did make the best New Mexican food <3 and I’m proud to say that most of what I still cook is all from what I learned from her growing up. 

The absolute best times that I can remember in her kitchen were when we would have a gathering of family and dear friends in her home. Grandma and Grandpa’s house was a very humble home despite our unspeakably large family (there’s a literal crap ton of us) haha but packing that tiny place with laughter and loved ones was grandma’s specialty… and making sure everyone was well fed of course. A beautiful thing would happen when we all got together there, the women always ran the kitchen together, and operated like a crew, and the in-laws were no exception. Our family just had a way of doing things, from prepping, to cooking, serving, and cleaning. The bustle was always so exciting to me, and from a young age I started to learn their ways. These ways have given me a strong foundation that I’ve learned so much from and have built on to, and I’ve found that much like grandma, feeding people is among the purest of my love languages. 

While living in Texas I had the chance to offer these gifts and lessons I was given, turns out our style of food would be a whole new world to the friends I would entertain out there. I thought it was just “Mexican” food *shrug* (I would learn a lot being away from home haha). I loved cooking for and with my friends, it’s something I’ve missed terribly. There were a couple of friends who carried that same spirit of the women in my family. We naturally moved to a certain rhythm and seemed to dance in perfect harmony around one another. Prepping, cooking, serving, and cleaning. Those meals were always my most favorite. Drinks, music, dancing, and dear friends <3 I don’t think I’ll miss anything about life in Texas like I miss those moments. Since I’ve been gone, one of the best compliments I think I’ve ever received in my life, is how my cooking has been missed. Call me sappy, but it does something to my heart, and makes me happy to offer and share that same comfort that was passed down thru me. The fact that there are those type of memories associated with me, fills my heart to the brim <3

Back to the current timeline, working at this restaurant brings me right back to the earlier memories of where it all began. Of what makes my heart swim while working in a kitchen setting. I now work with 2 Latina women, who speak mostly Spanish, and I uh…. I don’t exactly speak too well myself haha. I am trying to learn more though, but it’s taking me some time. Our dynamic is nostalgic to be frank, I find myself a little choked up sometimes because the old days come back to me again. We all work really well with one another, our work ethic matches, and we can’t help but have a blast back there, just being crazy. I adore spending my time with them, I still have a lot to learn and they teach me so much all the time. On the other hand, it’s a little funny how they recognize certain habits I have, and how they tend to be habits that I acquired from generations much older than my own. I believe it’s what has earned my manager’s respect in the beginning, and also why she holds me to a much higher standard than others, and if I’m being completely honest that’s something that I feel so very proud of. I genuinely love my job and these wonderful ladies I get to work with and learn from <3

Though I have worked and loved many types of work, there won’t ever be anything that compares to working in a kitchen. It offers me the reflection of the many jobs I’ve had and pursued doing this kind of work, not realizing how much my soul had always secretly longed for it. I remind myself of all the fun working in the food industry has given my life, and I fondly recall the kindred spirit I found when first reading “Kitchen Confidential” written by the late and great Anthony Bourdain <3 It took me all of these years and the experiences in between to help me see and understand the connection, but it makes so much sense to me now. My love for a kitchen and cooking stems from some of the most sacred memories I possess. I’ve realized that I carried that same love from my own kitchen, into work, and even into the homes of others and their kitchens. The joy feeding people brings me is priceless, and even the labor of cleaning the kitchen gives me the chance to reminisce about the sweet memories with my family in grandma’s kitchen. I get to do what I love, being like the woman I love, with people I love 🙂

I appreciate those of you who come here weekly to entertain my ramblings, it’s been a great month writing and posting often again. The daily traffic to this site has been picking up a good deal, and that honestly is pretty neat for me to see. I hope to have more art and things to add to the shop in the near future, and hope you take some time to look around 🙂 I love you much and will leave this entry on that note <3

Until Next Week 

<3

Miki Len